​O Father! I remember still the days I touched my heart and there was only an empty void. It was so empty. So dark. It also felt like it sucked all the light left in me away. I would collapse on the ground and cry from heartache. When I believed that in my own knowledge that I can fill such void with the things I believed was sufficient. I cry out to You O one who binds the broken hearted! Father! I’m drowning! I cry out to You! The waves are so high and the thunder so loud and the lightning striking in places I do not even know! How frightened I was. How damaged I was. How sinful I was! Oh truly it was such a difficult journey. Imagine not being able to breathe deeply for a year! The aching pain no aspirin can heal or drug can weaken. How frail human love can be. For a human’s love can only be strengthened when bind with the love of Jesus. But that I never knew! How long I have suffered and how dark my sleep was. My dreams haunt me and my very breath took my energy away. Food tasted like dust and my voice which once sung would be broken in whispers and chokes. I implore you O Children of God! May I never ever go back to such a dark place. For I am a sinner and I crawled through the darkness and the boiling rivers of fiery sin to grasp the edge of the cliff of Heaven. Oh for where God is then Heaven is also! But my strength failed me and I could hold on no longer and as my grip was slipping on those rocky edges I called out for Jesus and strong arms wrapped around me and a strong hand grasped my frail one and He pulled me up!

​When the world seems bleak and dim
And there is no light within
Then I collapse for on my own I am despaired
Oh I call out to you
My Savior
Oh I cry out to you
My Lord!
Please come and help me through the cracks of stone
With one word the cave falls down.
With one breath of yours my darkness is blown away!
All who hear come and behold for I am free
from my misery
When the claws of sin wound me
When there is no ground beneath me
Then I collapse for on my own I can’t go on
Oh I call out to you
My Savior
Oh I cry out to you
My Lord
Please come and help me through the cracks of stone
For you, who believes, in me and all I can be
You who never fails to come to rescue me from this world!
The cave around me falls to ashes and light forever shines
Then all my life becomes a light to burn with love for you!
Oh I call out to you
My Love
Oh I cry out to you
My Joyousness
Please come and rejoice forevermore with me!
All around I feel your light and the claws of darkness falters
For with you there’s always victory
For with you there’s always joy
So I call out to you
My Savior
So I call out to you
My God
 

Concrete and stone fall around me! I crawl through past the corpses of my fallen friends.
The sound of bombs and cries of pain. Large javelins stick up and I dare not know what they are impaling. I feel my blood dripping from my wounds and I press my fingers to my head and they come back red. This can’t be happening. O my Lord, where are you to be found in places as dark as this?
Smoke chokes the air.
My God! Where are you? Why have you left us?
My friend crawls over in agony to me and we lay together in the midst of the battlefield. Her hand holds mine and I can feel the strength leave her hand.
“Where is He? Our shield? Our victory?” She gasps and her body shakes. I can feel her life drain from her as she takes her last breath. I turn and whisper in her ear before she leaves me. “He’s here. We will have victory.”
A smile comes on her face as she closes her eyes and leaves me. I stare at the skies and see a cloud of arrows with flaming tips. Tens of thousands of them, falling towards me.
“My God, if this be your will. Please don’t let this be the last thing I see.”
Then once the words left my lips the arrows turned to flowers and covered the battlefield. Then a long javelin launches through the air and I get up and see it coming towards me. I cry
“Save me Oh Lord!”
Then a shield as promised.
He was there. In front of me. The javelin pierced me not and I was saved. For He was pierced for our transgressions. How can you ever say that you do not love Him?
 

​Together in one blinding light we soar through space. The darkness bows to Him as He passes. The vapors of His breath come together to form solid planets and He shoots them through space where they now stay. The angels soar with him as one giant pair of wings and the cherubs and seraphs glow in the silkiness of his robe. Together they spin as one solid beam of light through the darkness of space. The angels hold baskets of stars and they sprinkle them into space like flower girls sprinkling petals at a wedding. You can hear their gleeful joyous laughter and song. The seraphs praise the Lord loudly as they watch in awe as He creates another galaxy filled with a million colors and lights. The applause is incredible as the darkness that was there is now a lightshow. The Lord holds close to him a flaming sword that glows with His surreal spirit. A black hole appears in space, drinking up the light He created. The angels hold steady and the sword lights aflame and pulses with life. The Lord our God soars like an eagle straight into the black hole, into the place where light enters but never comes out. But He is the Lord our God. Nothing is impossible for Him. The seraphs praise and the angels sing and the cherubs roar as they all spin together like a rocket shooting straight into the pit of darkness. The flaming sword pulses and vibrates with life. Then a powerful explosion takes place and the sword shatters to form another galaxy, bright with light and growing to the point where the black hole disintegrates. The sword returns to the hands of The Lord, ready and alive again to continue with Creation.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​Listen close and quiet oh soul! For you know the voice of whom you love! You know His voice for His voice is the most beautiful of sounds. When He speaks to you it’s, the most beautiful thing. Words can only describe it plainly for it’s too beautiful for words! Warmth and love flood through me, and all pain is gone! For my Love is with me. I stand up tall and pick up my cross. The burden is lighter. The ground that once felt like hot crumbling clay now feels like cool soft grass. I turn and see my Love next to me. He helps balance the cross on His shoulders.
“Let me help you carry it.”
Oh my soul is delighted and rejoices evermore. My cross is lighter and I smile as we walk together. Sinful hands try to grab me but I pay them no attention. Darkness tries to envelope me but I don’t see it. My eyes are focused on their greatest joy, which is my Love. My heart is light and my mind is clear. For when He speaks I follow, like a sheep that knows its Shepherd. Even if the sun is hot and the wind blows hard and my enemies surround me I sit under my Lord’s wing and we laugh in merriment. He listens to my stories of the day and he smiles and laughs at my jokes. If I ask for wisdom he gives generously. If I ask for love He gives endlessly. I care not if the world collapses around me. For even if my life ends and my Love is the last face I see before I sleep then I am not afraid, for I know when I awake He would be the first face I see. I feel his hand hold me in a gentle sway so that I may sleep well, knowing that I am loved.
 

​How swiftly The Lord works! I’m practically blown away and my mind is in shock! For a moment ago I prayed for an answer and the next moment someone walks in with my answer. How the Lord works and sends His messages is beyond anything my mind can understand. Oh the power of prayer! I gasp in shock as a complete stranger takes me aside and gives the answer to my question. I search to find his wings but he has none. How incredible! I take my message and go about my day wondering what just happened? For I am in complete utterance and I run back to my Lord and proclaim His greatness! “How swiftly you work My Lord! Oh my mind is opened and I know not how You work but You are so great that I cannot comprehend how great Your greatness is!”
My heart beats fast as I spin around in joy and love for My Lord. You know me better than I know myself! You know my every move before I make it! How each day You astound me more and more! Some days you shock me so that I am truly frightened at how much you know about me. Then I smile and realize that no one can keep secrets from you O Lord! For my heart with even my deepest desires are an open book to you. So I raise up my hands in surrender and repent for all my past wickedness. Forgive me Father if I ever think, say or do anything that displeases you – for I am but a mere mortal! But each day I will, with the strength of Jesus, be more holy and blameless before You.

​I close my ears for the screams and groans of agony surround me.
People cry “Why has our Lord forsaken us?” The moans of the sick and the cries of the dying is enough to weaken the strongest soul! I fall on my knees and look to the skies where thick clouds cover it and no glimpse of light is to be see. My heart sinks but it is not drowned.
“There’s still good in the world O Father. It’s still worth fighting for.” Then I turn and see hands lift up hands. I see those who once take only now give. Those who once are quiet now speak. Those who were oppressed now stand up. Those who were in chains now have broken them. Those who have been denied are now receiving.
“Sometimes, it is in darkness that we strive for the light, so we find it within us.” A voice whispers. O People! Our Lord is with us all along! He’s within each one of us. Waiting patiently to do His good works through us. Like a teacher happily rejoicing when His students learn what has been taught. It is when the flesh fails you, when the world crashes down upon you, when your riches provide you no sustenance and when your own light goes out – then the importance of the spirit is realized. For when we Believe, in the Love that renewed us – there is strength in the darkest of times. For when we Believe in the Love that is the truth and the light – then even in the darkest corner of the Earth, there will still be light. When it seems like our Lord is nowhere to be found, search within. Search within.

For as a child I know not what our Father is doing.
I happily skip upon roads and Father holds my hand so that I do not trip over raised patches, fall into cracks or twist my ankle on potholes. Every step and a small crack is in the road but I do not notice. I am but a child. I only see the joys of life and only believe and trust in our Father completely. How joyous life is! For I do not worry about where my food would come from or where my clothes would come from. I worry not about a single thing! For He provides it all! He lifts me on His shoulders and I shout with glee but I did not know that He lifted me up to keep me safe from the giant dip in the road.
“Can we go home now? And maybe get some ice cream along the way?”
I gaze happily at Father’s face and He smiles.
“Of course. Anytime.”
So I go home and rejoice in my ice cream cone.
The next day I was hoping we’d go down the road again, maybe to the park, or the beach. But then I came and saw Father tearing up the road. There was rubble and destruction and it was so loud!
“Why? What are you doing Father? I don’t understand!” I wail and cry because the road is gone. How would I go to the park now? Or the beach?  It’s so noisy and there’s the smell of burning asphalt and dirt filled the air.
Father came and held me while I sobbed.
“Trust me. Wait for me. Go home and rest.”
I nod and turn back home sadly. I don’t know what’s happening! Then the next morning I awake and go to the road to find Father. Two hands covered my eyes. I laugh and pull them off and turn to see Father.
“I’ve got a surprise for you.” He says.
He turns me around and gestures to the road. It was smooth and straight and beautiful. There was no more cracks or potholes or dips. I never noticed how much I was suffering until it has been taken away. My Father delivered me from the dangers I knew not or seen not.
“Sometimes you don’t always understand, but I will make your paths straight.”
I jump gleefully and skip ahead. Father lets go of my hand and lets me run freely on smooth paths. He walks with me, his eyes never turning away.
“Do you trust me now?” Says the Lord.
“Of course!” I spin around and can see the beach ahead. “Can we go have fun at the beach?”
“Stay close to me my child. Promise you won’t wander to far? And will you listen to my voice when I call you away from danger?”
“Of course!” I responded.
O People, Children of the living God! There are things our Father does that we do not understand. Many times it’s noisy and it feels like our world is crashing down. But trust in Him completely. Like a child trusts their parents. Then when He has made our paths straight He’ll let us rejoice in delight. But hold on to His Hand and don’t wander too far or danger would sweep us away! When He calls, listen O child! Listen! For as a parent want only what’s best for their child, so Our Father wants only what’s best for us! Trust Him! Trust Him!
 

Live! Breathe! Stare in awe at His glory! Stand there where Moses stood and remember when the sea parted.
Cry “LORD!” and watch in awe as the majestic oceans bow their waves and move aside for God’s People to walk through. Know that when the evil one sends waves intended to kill and drown you then cry out loud for the Lord to save you. He will. His glory will shine forth like an explosion in the darkness. His light will part the waves and you will kneel in awe as Your Savior stands before you. You will look and see the waves of the evil one be pushed back like two walls on both sides. YAHWEH is with us! He never abandons us! Every knee shall bow before His throne. You’ll see the walls of water on both sides of you, but you won’t be drowned. The mountains crumble before Him. The oceans part to make way for Him. The sun stands still for Him! No star shines brighter than Him because He is their light! Oh when you are in need of deliverance, call and YAHWEH comes with His flaming sword and shield and an army of angels! And behold! He will deliver you from your enemies! But O child! When your enemy is yourself and when your sins are eating you up on the inside, burning you like fire. Bow low and call upon YESHUA. May His grace fill you and His strength destroy the sin within you! Then you will burn no more! When the sins of the flesh creep upon you call out for YESHUA! When the shame and guilt of the evil one try to pull you away, turn away! And call YESHUA!
 

Oh as my Beloved calls out
my name in the darkness.
For when He does
I do not hide.
My Savior has come and
He has redeemed me
of the chains that
wrapped itself around me.
O it’s all my fault!
I have done much wrong and
as underserving as I may be of
your undying love
You still came and forgave me.
For in my youth and ignorance
I chased after food that did not satisfy
and water that brought not life
but slow death.
I was blinded by it all!
For what I thought was good
only sought to destroy me.
O praise the Lord forever for
He rescued me from the
depths of the sea.
He reached down through
the pit of fire and
grasped my hand
before I fell.
For grasping I was at the
edge of tall cliffs
I hung and
strong arms
carried me out to freedom.
I cry until I can cry no more
for my joy is overflowing and
the tears stopped running.
My heart rejoiced to see
Your face again my Beloved.
Then I remembered when
I lost you in the forest as a child.
And You never stopped searching for me.
You took the chains off me and
fed me food that gave me strength and
gave me water that quenched my thirst.
I cry for joy out to thee from the
very depths of my heart.
For in the raging seas of this world
I hold you tight for you are
my Anchor.
I hold on to you for
dear life because if
I didn’t then the world would
sweep me away into the plunging cold depths
once more.
I went there once.
I do not want to go back.
My dear Lord, O the Love of my life – truly!
Please, hold on to me and never let me wander.
​For you are my freedom.